Relationships and Self: How Do They Interact?

It seems well to consider relationships and their role in our emotional well being. To become more precise, an "ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," right? So lets consider what we are looking for, and how the role of self may influence our relationships and well-being. 

Companionship is something that most of us desire. We often hope to find the long lasting relationship that marks a major milestone in our lives. Why? We feel the need to share our lives with someone else. We have the basic need to be accepted. And why shouldn’t we? Through all our struggles, happy times and surprises, it is well to have someone to share it all with.

The trouble is, finding the right person is often a difficult task. One of the first things to remember is that it should not be hard. This may be an indicator that you are trying much too hard- which makes you much more prone to err. Trying too hard may come from wishful thinking, and wishful thinking can lead to disaster.

Another problem that seems common comes from not knowing yourself well enough. Perhaps this is one of the biggest problems out there when it comes to this subject. There seems to be a multitude of people looking for the right person, yet they are not quite sure what it is that really makes them happy.

People will seem quite sure what it is they are looking for. Still, once they find the person with those qualities, they change their minds. Why? Granted- often it is because the other person “put on a good act.” That is enough to make anyone change their mind. The last thing you should want is deception.

Still, there are those who decide that what they had found was not what they wanted for a relationship. Often, it is because they do not know themselves well enough. Before considering a serious relationship, it is best to consider who you truly are.

The old saying goes that “opposites attract.” That may be so, but it doesn’t guarantee a stable, long lasting relationship. It often works as the exact opposite- couples that are more alike may form a longer lasting relationship. So how then, can you find the right person without knowing yourself? These are some key points to remember when learning how to find that long lasting relationship.

Carl Rogers - A Humanistic Approach to Relieve Suffering

Carl Rogers, as mentioned earlier, believed that we must find our inner selves in order to help relieve much of our emotional discomfort. So, if that is the case, what has happened for us to be "stuck" in a "bad place?" In other words, how is it that we become so miserable sometimes? Things happen in life, good or bad, and often we cannot control those circumstances. One thing thing that often happens is getting so tangled up in things we cannot control. We can lose contact with ourselves this way. We tend to put aside things that make us happy in order to focus on those troubles. So, we may tend to keep ourselves in what Carl Rogers called a psychological prison.

You Are Your Own Best Psychologist- But Support Doesn't Hurt, Either!

I have to agree with the famous psychologist, Carl Rogers, when he said that we all have the answers within ourselves. Finding and searching our inner selves is key to his theory. Indeed, I believe that being at peace with ourselves is where much of true happiness begins. At the same time, though, I also agree with other psychologists who believe that making contact with others is a necessity for good mental health. Though we all need to find our own answers in order to heal from emotional distress, having a support group is great for encouragement. Not only that, having empathetic others around may help us to "work through" many problems. This may help to keep us from repressing them. It can also help us to realize that we are not alone in life, many others may have similar troubles. Others can also help us, be it directly or indirectly, find who we are. Finding that inner self can be key to coping with stress. It may help us to find those answers to troubling questions. So in turn it is likely that we are our own best psychologists, but support is certainly a plus that we all can benefit from.

Much to Discuss!

I'd like to begin by saying that in no way is the information in this blog meant to be taken over the advice of a mental health professional. Indeed, I make no claim of being a mental health professional, neither do I mean to mislead others to think that all problems can be fixed by a simple blog. This is clearly not so. Instead, I'd much rather discuss things that I have learned that have truly improved the quality of my own life. While in school for psychology, we learned many principles that famous theorists had established. While many say "It's only theory," which may be true, these ideas often give us a framework with which to improve our lives. After applying many of these theories, I have seen a vast improvement in my own life. Like many other people out there already know, life isn't always easy. I have found that such ideas have helped me cope with many things in life, and it is my hope that these ideas can help others as well. This is a place to discuss these ideas to get feedback from others, and a place for all of us to find support.

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